I’m not going to lie, I’ve felt as though I’ve been in a bit of a slump the past couple of months. Stuck in a bit of a rut really, and it feels as though I’ve just drifted through on autopilot. If I could sum up my mood from the last few months, that word would be ‘meh’.
I need a bit of a kick, to remind myself that actually, things are pretty good for me at the moment. There’s nothing wrong with my life, things are good and I’m very grateful for what I have, and my mood needs to reflect that. So here I am, giving myself that kick, because lets face it, I’m probably the most appropriate person for it.
I hated my old flat in the city. From being woken up at 2am by drunks outside, or having my fence smashed down, to someone stabbed right outside my back gate and having to rush out to help them until the ambulance arrived, it was a horrible place to live. As much as I’m pretty confident in my ability to look after myself, I never felt truly safe there. I was over diligent with making sure the windows and doors were locked, and paranoid at the slightest sound.
Now? I sold the flat, and as much I didn’t like living in it, those years of paying into the mortgage allowed Mike and I to buy something together. Something for us.
I now live in a beautiful home, that I feel totally safe and secure in. I’ve not been woken in the night once, and I feel safe walking around in my neighbourhood at night. I feel relaxed being there. I love that it’s ours.
Sure, I have the heart thing going on, but aside from that, I’m pretty healthy. I’m in good shape, and I go to the gym on a regular basis. I can do two classes at the gym back to back with no struggle. I can almost do an unassisted pull up (almost). I eat what I want, when I want but my weight remains healthy because I’m active. Other than my asthma inhaler that I actively ignore, I don’t need any medication to function.
I’ve had my fair share of bad relationships from a romantic point of view, and plenty when it comes to friends and family as well. I’ve cycles through some of my friendships, and learned to let go of friendships that are purely one sided or negative. Sure, people have their own lives and things going on, but when someone constantly lets you down, belittles you or makes you feel in any way that you are not good enough, then they have no place to be called friend.
My tribe isn’t big, but we’re very close, and make a formidable team. We love each other like family, and whenever I’ve needed them, they’ve been there. I wouldn’t be without them for a moment.
Then there is Mike. He puts up with me when I’m hangry, or at the very least sources food. He helps and he listens. He picks me up when I’m feeling down, and he always makes sure I feel loved and supported. I feel like the priority in his life, just as any partner should be made to feel.
As much as my job can at times be pretty boring, I do enjoy it. It’s been utterly draining of late, which is probably a huge factor in what I said before. It’s only because we are hitting one of our hot spots for the year, so it won’t be here forever. That, and I’ve been doing extra work for one of the Directors, so there’s an added pressure to get everything done on time and absolutely pristine.
It might be tiring, but it’s positive. I’ve worked damn hard at my career, at getting my qualifications and creeping up my pay as I moved up through different positions. I’ve had my time being the office junior and general dogs body, and now I’ve more up in seniority. I’m placed with an excellent Executive, and we’re the only all-female team and so we’re all about girl power. And you know what? We’re smashing every target thrown at us and we support each other. The lines between our roles have been blurred, and we happily step into each other’s shoes when the need is there. I have the opportunity to really show my worth, and hopefully progress even more.
I may feel a little set in my ways at the moment, and I may not be feeling as chirpy as I normally am, but things are great for me at the moment, and there’s nothing I need. We’re fast approaching Spring and Summer, and I’m excited to go on adventures with my friends in the sun.
Here in Em’s World, life is pretty good.