Happy New Year everyone!!
In lieu of my typical monthly lookback, I’ve decided to do similar to what I did last year, and do a lookback of 2018, see if I managed to achieve all that I wanted to, as well as have a think about what I’d like to achieve in 2019. When I wrote last year’s post, I was halfway through our adventure in the USA and Canada. We’d been to New York, Nashville, New Orleans, and were in Canada by this point, with just a final stop in Vegas to go. It’s been quite fun this year working out where we were and what we were doing, not to mention nice to reminisce about our adventures together.
Em's World is now a year old and I can't believe how much its changed already. I'd initially picked it up as a hobby, and I never thought anyone would ever actually read it, or that I would come to love it quite so much! I may not have thousands of followers, but I'm grateful for all of the lovely people I do have.
My blog, content and my flatlays have changed a lot over the past 12 months, and I've had the chance to collaborate with brands as well as write sponsored posts. I didn't think I'd be anywhere near doing any of this for at least a couple of years, and yet I've written a post about getting paid for posts, written loads of dating posts, not to mention two collaborations with Eyewake and many more.
A clean slate
My 2018 started off with a bit of a clean slate. After working for 3 months as a temp for a reinsurance broker, the position I wanted opened up, and I got the job. This has made a huge difference to me, and I feel a lot happier, more settled, and far, far less stressed. I hated my old job, and it just got worse and worse, to the point that I’d be in tears in the mornings not wanting to go. I’m certain that had I ever been put in front of a doctor I’d have been signed off. Full time work takes a huge chunk of time out of your life, and to be somewhere you don’t want to be, makes it incredible draining. I’m now enjoying going to work again, which is lovely, and will be starting my next lot of insurance qualifications in the New Year. I’ve worked hard to get where I am at the moment, and I’m ready to take those next steps in my development.
There’s been a lot of changes for me socially this year as well. There comes a time in our lives when we have to re-evaluate ourselves. Who we are and what we want out of life and our relationships. Earlier in the year I let go of an old friend who just wasn’t making any effort, and I’ve still not heard from her, not a word. I went through many emotions when I stopped reaching out and making contact, mainly guilt, but the realisation that she hasn’t tried to make any kind of contact, just tells me that I was right. There’s still no ill feelings towards this person, not at all. Relationships come and go, it’s just part of how life is, it’s just bit of a shame.
Speaking of relationships coming and going, my relationship with my Mum is recovering. The times we’ve met up, I’ve really enjoyed seeing her, and I think all is going well. I was sad to not go to her birthday, but I think she understands. I’ve not heard from my Dad, other than the very odd occasion, and it’s been a bit of a mixed bag, if anything, we've probably gone backwards since the whole thing kicked off. My relationship with my Dad has come up a lot when I'm reflecting on the whole situation, and whilst he’s done a lot for me over the years, for which I am grateful, there has also been some damage, and there are some very large cracks. Cracks that I won’t be able to heal, unless there’s a dramatic change, and even then, I think they’ll always linger. My sister thinks it’s inappropriate that I share any of this on a public platform, and in some ways, I guess she’s right. At the same time though, it helps me gain clarity over everything and align my thoughts and emotions. With it being such a big event in my life, it doesn’t feel like something I can just pretend didn’t happen and skip over when looking back over 2018.
On a positive note, over the year I’ve made some new friendships, where I feel I can be totally myself, with people who care about me. I remember in July being really bummed out in the lead up to my birthday, because I was let down by particular people at the last minute, some with good reason, but others not so much. I was so disappointed by one person in particular, who had done the same and bailed the year before that I was quite happy to let me birthday come and go. One of my newer friends, whom I’ve grown very close with picked up on my reaction, that I’d tried to hide, and snuck into my flat (Mike let her in) when I was doing the weekly shop to decorate for a BBQ. It may seem like a small gesture to some, but to me it was huge, and meant the world.
A new home
2018 was the year that my brother and I sold our flat in the city centre, and Mike and I brought our first house together. There were plenty of stresses along the way, especially when it came to dealing with solicitors, but we got through it together. Now we have a beautiful home, that’s ours to have and enjoy. We’ve worked so hard over the year, and to wake up every morning, ad see all we’ve achieved together is a truly special feeling.
When we got engaged, we wanted to get married fairly quickly, it’s now been a year, and we’ve not really moved much further forward. I’m reluctant to start planning or arranging, given the state of play with my family, but we have agreed we’ll start saving properly. I guess it’ll eventually come to the point where we decide what we want to do, but whatever we chose, we’ll need money saved for it. We’ve even joked a couple of times that we should elope, or should have married when we were in Vegas, which now isn’t actually seeming that bad an idea…
In some ways, with a new job, new home, and new friendships, I almost feel as though 2018 has set the scene for 2019, and I’m excited to see what it brings.