September look-back

October 1, 2018

I can’t believe it’s time for another lookback already! This year has been so busy, and is going by so fast, it’ll be Christmas before we know it! September has been a very mixed month for me, with extreme highs and extreme lows, some exciting things have happened, but I can’t help but be relived this month is finally over..

Escape room
At the start of the month, a few of us got together on a Friday wanting to do something a little different than just go out drinking. So we went along to an escape room near Norwich Market. It was really great fun, and a really great activity to do as a group, as it makes you to work together against the clock, finding clues and cracking the various codes. We went in two separate groups, who naturally turned it into a contest, but I’m pleased to confirm my team won with the shortest time!

We’ll be looking to do some others in the future, and I’d highly recommend it as something fun and a little different and fun to do with friends or family. 

 


Family
Speaking of family, September marked a turning point, and when my relationship with my parents finally hit an impasse. As much as I love my family, there are many aspects of our relationship that are unhealthy, and that I haven’t been happy with ever since I was a young teenager. An argument at the beginning of the month dragged up many other issues from a long time ago, which I have basically been told to ‘get over’. I suggested a few options to help try to improve our relationship for the better, including family counselling, but my suggestions were totally rejected.

As much as I do love my parents, I can’t continue to be belittled, gaslighted and have my boundaries ignored again and again, and so I’ve decided to take a break from contact with my parents. For the time being at least. As a consequence, the last real contact I had with them was in August.

As you would expect, all this has left me feeling very fragile, and I do feel a little guilt for being the one to call a break and cut off contact. At the same time however, having someone leave you in tears and then refuse to so much as even say sorry for hurting you, is not something I can or should be expected to carry on with, whether it’s my parents or anyone else for that matter. The line “we love you” holds very little weight when it comes from someone who blatantly ignores your feelings over and over, as let’s face it; it’s easy to just say the words.

There’s been a lot of points throughout the month where I’ve got upset about the fact that my parents would seemingly rather never talk to me again than simply pluck up an apology and admit that they might have been wrong, but it’s something I’m working through and have fortunately had a lot of support from Mike and my close friends.

House
If you are a regular reader of my lookbacks, you’ll know Mike have been trying to move house. Well, at the very end of August we had an offer on my flat, which was really wonderful news and a highlight for the rest of September. Due to the offer being over the asking price, we had a slightly larger deposit to play with, and could look at houses in a slightly higher bracket than we’d considered with the deposit we had before.

We viewed more houses than I care to think about in our search for the right one, but we finally found it, and our offer on it was accepted! The rest of September was spent with surveys and mountains of paperwork, not to mention a large dose of stress from dealing with solicitors… but that doesn’t matter because we are finally moving forward! Finally finding our new home and getting things moving has certainly been a high for me at a time when I really needed a positive to balance out a fair bit of negativity. Things are moving very slowly at the moment, but we’re hopeful that we’ll be moved into our new home before Christmas – fingers crossed!

Friends
September was a month where I’ve had to lean very heavily on my friends for support, and they’ve been absolutely fantastic. From having catch ups and listening to me rant all the way to dragging me on nights out and feeding me stupid amounts of tequila – which I was less thankful for the following day!

Finding friends who offer love and support without any kind of prompting can be hard, it’s so easy for us to get wrapped up in our own lives and problems that we sometimes forget about those we love. To have such people in my life makes me feel incredibly lucky, as I’m all too aware that it’s a privilege some people don’t have.
 


With Halloween, our one year engagement anniversary, a new tattoo and some friend time coming up, I’m really looking forward to what October brings. It’s already looking to be a much happier and more positive month! 
 

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